Inside a Suicidal Mind. At the time of Rachel's death, the suicide seemed inexplicable to her family. Even though she had once attempted to take her life, she had responded to treatment: therapy, group therapy, medication. Two days before she went missing, Crites and his daughter watched 'American Idol' together.
People in general consider suicide a selfish act. However, before someone is quick to label the act selfish people should really think about what's going through the mind of a suicidal person.Aside possible mental illness such as schizophrenia, they may have absolutely no self esteem what so ever. They have nothing to build on and believe no one cares about them. So the whole 'think about your family and friends argument' is out the window. In their minds, they have no friends and their families wouldn't notice them if their gone.Just something to think about. The thoughts the person are having are completly genuine. Family cares.
If you have friends they care. But when you are in that 'pit' you dont see it.
Trust me I know. The only thing that keeps me here is my three girls. Nothing else.
I feel it would a completly selfish act on my part to leave my girls. If I did not have them yes I probably would not be here. And what I realized friends and family don't know what to say to you.
They do not understand the 'pit'. They say 'snap out of it'. That's what I mostly get. But snap out of what when you can't even define the feeling properly, except to say 'I just want to die'. And yes mental illness plays a big part that family and friends sometimes just don't get.
The thoughts the person are having are completly genuine. Family cares. If you have friends they care.
But when you are in that 'pit' you dont see it. Trust me I know. The only thing that keeps me here is my three girls. Nothing else. I feel it would a completly selfish act on my part to leave my girls.
If I did not have them yes I probably would not be here. And what I realized friends and family don't know what to say to you. They do not understand the 'pit'. They say 'snap out of it'. That's what I mostly get.
But snap out of what when you can't even define the feeling properly, except to say 'I just want to die'. And yes mental illness plays a big part that family and friends sometimes just don't get.Yes, anyone who has not experienced real depression / despair / hopelessness has a difficult time understanding what that state is like.Your girls are fortunate that you have such love for them. There are the absolutes.living.and death. And in between those two lies depression. Not really living and just wishing death would take you and relieve you of the constant pain. I've been there, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. However, one can only truly know it by feeling it.
And the logical mind cannot understand the pain it causes, nor can logical explanations be applied to it.Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.however, when you're in a true depression, 'temporary' can seem like it will last forever.In depression, suicide is the desparate act of just making the pain go away.when nothing else seems to be working. People in general consider suicide a selfish act. However, before someone is quick to label the act selfish people should really think about what's going through the mind of a suicidal person.Aside possible mental illness such as schizophrenia, they may have absolutely no self esteem what so ever. They have nothing to build on and believe no one cares about them.
So the whole 'think about your family and friends argument' is out the window. In their minds, they have no friends and their families wouldn't notice them if their gone.Just something to think about.I agree. I don't think that someone who is driven to suicide is the least bit selfish. They are hurt and very troubled people. There are the absolutes.living.and death. And in between those two lies depression. Not really living and just wishing death would take you and relieve you of the constant pain.
I've been there, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. However, one can only truly know it by feeling it. And the logical mind cannot understand the pain it causes, nor can logical explanations be applied to it.Suicide is a permanent solutionto a temporary problem.however, when you're in a true depression, 'temporary' can seem like it will last forever.In depression, suicide is the desparate act of just making the pain go away.when nothing else seems to be working.That is perhaps true and perhaps not.Since our understanding of who we are as Beings is extremely limited, it is not certain that suicide will end the suffering. Suicide is sometimes the ultimate control act. I know my ds has threatened suicide many times, and 'plays' at it, just for attention. He claims to have swallowed pills, when he hadn't, and claimed to slit his wrists, when it turned out to be superficial scratches he inflicted just to draw blood (and attention).Yes, we have him under pshchiatric care, counseling, etc, IMO, it just feeds his power kick.
He gets out out school, gets to talk to people and has their undivided attention, whenever he pleases. We finally refused to keep playing his game-hes currently in a mental hospital.
If hes' truly suicidal, he belongs there for his sake. If he's playing a game, he belongs there for everyone else's sake. Committing suicide can also serve as an inspiration to others that are suffering and indecisive.Last year, in one month here in Las Vegas, 5 elderly couples died in murder-suicides, it was a rare phenomena the media deemed it.Copy-cat murder-suicides? Who knows!One of my best friends committed suicide back in 1975, and he will always be an inspiration for me. And I also read the obituary columns, often, and I'm no dummy, I can decipher suicides form natural deaths. They're also an inspiration for me.But I look at it this way, if all I'm doing is fantasizing about committing suicide with an audience in my fantasies, I'm not too concerned about them. It's when the audience disappears, that's another story!
Highlight one of the most uncomfortable and perplexing questions about human behavior: why do people commit suicide?From the standpoint of someone who is not currently - which is most of us, most of the time - it's difficult to understand how a person could ignore survival instinct, disregard the good things in life, and foreclose every possibility of future. Why can't they see that they're good people?
Why don't they understand that things will improve?And if we have considered suicide ourselves in the past – which is most of us – it can be even harder to understand why they can’t shake it off. We want desperately for them to feel better.Perhaps it is the perplexing nature of suicide that leads us to one of humanity's old explanatory standbys: diagnosis and categorization. People who are suicidal are usually placed into categories such as ',' ',' or 'manipulative.' That kind of diagnosing is done with the best intentions, I think, and with some reasonable hope of prevention. It works in some cases. For example, biological abnormalities like organic brain disease, reactions, or severe thyroid problems can make someone feel inexplicably suicidal.
Problems like these have straightforward answers, and so proper diagnosis is vitally important.But in the absence of an unequivocal medical diagnosis, categorizing suicidal behavior as something like 'depressed' or 'manipulative' doesn't explain the problem and generally skirts the real source of suicidal ideation. There is a certain kind of thinking that fuels suicide, and for most of us it is a terribly difficult idea to sit with: suicide is problem-solving behavior. In the mind of someone considering suicide, the act may seem like an expeditious and effective way to eliminate pain.Acknowledging suicide as problem-solving behavior is uncomfortable, I think, because it appears to edge dangerously close to endorsing the act. Nothing could be further from the truth. We don't have to agree with the desire to die in order to empathize with the pain lurking behind that desire. The thought of suicide most often occurs when a person feels they have run out of solutions to problems that seem inescapable, intolerably painful, and never-ending (Chiles & Strosahl, 2005).There is a powerful and natural temptation to argue with someone who is suicidal.
We want to convince them that suicide won't solve their problems. I'm sure we're all familiar with the old bromide, 'suicide doesn't fix anything.' From our perspective that may be true, but the person considering suicide may mistakenly perceive suicide as the only thing that will end their pain. Ironically, arguing this point can increase a person's resolve to end their life.
Luckily, it's an argument in which we need not engage.An alternative approach to suicidal ideation is to:. Understand that to the mind of the person contemplating suicide, it appears to be an effective way to end their pain. We need not endorse suicide in order to understand that their pain seems to be intolerable, inescapable, and interminable. Most importantly, we can acknowledge that thoughts of suicide represents a desire to solve problems. Identify and discuss the sources of pain that exist behind suicidal ideation. When we shift the focus to the sources of pain, then we can discuss solutions other than ending a life. Often, the very act of putting words to vague and overwhelming feelings shines a light of rationality on our problems and expands our willingness to explore a broader range of solutions.Negotiating the tricky waters of suicidal ideation is complicated business and should always be referred to trained and competent professional.
If you are contemplating suicide, please contact before you do anything else.References:Chiles, J.A. & Strosahl, K.D. Clinical Manual for Assessment and Treatment of Suicidal Patients. Washington, DC: American Publishing, Inc.For an expanded discussion, please visit my at ironshrink.com. I am a 48 year old, have a criminal record for a sexual assault I did not commit and have had extreme difficulty finding ANY job, worked in computer IT for 25 years and had to leave a job due to my record, live with my 77 year old mother because i have debts over $25,000, have no friends, no job, no car. I live in toronto canada and have no money to do anything. My circumstances and my life situation and boredom and loneliness is increasingly causing me to feel i will commit suicide in the very near future as my circumstances are intolerable.
The only job I have been able to secure for the past 2 years has been grass cutting at a lawncare company where i barely earn enough to survive and provide my 18 year old daughter some money here and there for university. I have gone to employment agencies for over 3 months now and cant get a job. I have several collection agencies after me due to my debts. Any offer of HOPE would be greatly appreciated as I cant keep living this HELL much longer. I have a BA in psychology with honors and have been to many therapists over the years.
Therapists all use the same tired phrases like 'reach out', 'seem' or 'feel' helpless and so on. I have overdosed six times, most recently a week ago when I finally, truly wanted to die. I don't just think or feel helpless or hopeless; my situation is hopeless. Of course I'll go through the motions of trying to get in a better place, emotionally and literally, but I can't see a satisfactory outcome for my future.
I've used up what little friend or family help extended years ago. I'm nearly 66, have been unable to work since 2002, have some serious health problems.
I've been trying to get away from a bad marriage for about 25 years.After medicare and part D, I get about $710 a month. Low income housing takes 30% and I won't get much in food stamps.
While depending on Medicaid type health care I fear I will die waiting in the overcrowded waiting room. If I'm very lucky, I might get 2 or 3 hundred in alimony. I don't have a vehicle and couldn't afford one anyway. I might have a roof over my head but that's the only real difference between me and the homeless millions.How is this not hopeless?. Iam being treated for depression and anxiety. Although there are common symptoms for these illnesses, there are also individual reasons.Life to me is a dissapointment to such an extent that I often feel like an unwilling player in the game of life.
Human nature is corrupt and people hurt each other. These feelings are deeply engrained, and that is why suicide (not wanting to live) can seem like a relief, or the only way out.I am not suicidal, however I withdraw as much as possible from life. Medication does help - more so with the anxiety. You write 'Most importantly, we can acknowledge that thoughts of suicide represents a desire to solve problems.' I found this to be very helpful. I think about suicide daily - for the past twenty + years.
I knew it had something to do with panic about change, but I am not panicked about change all the time.I am, however, geared toward problem solving, and some problems seem to be unfixable. However, I have learned over the years that calling things by their right name can be very helpful, so maybe renaming suicidal thoughts to 'a desire to solve a problem' will shift the thinking. Being a person who has never had suicidal tendencies, how can you say that you know why people do it or even consider it?
I have dealt with depression and anxiety for over 15 years and know from experience in my own situation and reading others'. I am a struggling single mother of 4 and read once that the biggest reason people commit suicide is because they don't want to continue to face problems.
The 'nothing ever goes right' or the 'what next?' I can attest that this is most likely true, as when I have thoughts of suicide, it isn't because of one or more situations that are causing me pain. It's because I don't want to know what the future holds and the pain I will continue to endure throughout my life.
Why be here if life is nothing but pain, always has been, and will continue to be??. I know how you feel. My life has been ruined. Everything I ever worked for has been taken away. I’m 52 and nobody will interview me for jobs, and I can’t seem to get public assistance to save my life.
What’s the sense in forcing me to suffer when ending my life will stop the pain that nothing else has worked to get rid of. I’ve tried 19 fucking times to get public assistance, I’ve sent over 4600 resumes Nothing. I think it’s pretty fucking pretentious to assume that everybody wants to commit suicide should be prevented.
Have some fucking compassion and give me a goddamn pistol. I hate people. So full of their own opinions.
Keep your opinions of my body. The old, the sick, the lonely, those in pain, those sitting and watching loved ones not give a chit is why people kill themselves.No one cares.30 years ago one never thought a thing about taking some of the chickens butchered to the neighbor 'just because'.Drive way get snowed in? More than one neighbor would be there in the AM.Trouble with a vehicle? Someone you didn't know would stop and ask you if needed help.Today?HA HA HA HANO ONE BOTHERS TO EVEN NOTICE, family or not, friends or not.' IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM'IF there is one out there 'helping'? Expect them to 'judge' your life, life choices, situation.and 'do what they are comfortable with' to make the POINT that 'they are better than you and you don't do what they do THEREFORE YOU ARE WRONG'They publicly wipe their butt on the Word of God, rewriting anything they want to shove down YOUR throat but point out something THEY totally ignore in the bible?
HOW DARE YOU!The world does NOT care and does NOT help for ANY reason OTHER THAN to go home and admire themselves for 'doing good works' even though they have slapped God in the face with their hypocritical opinions and actions.THAT is why people kill themselves.THEY ARE SICK OF SEEING WHAT THE WORLD HAS BECAME, SICK of being judged, SICK of watching hypocrites speak of 'God's Word' and totally ignoring it themselves.Their MAMMON and their OWN OPINION OF THEMSELVES is their 'GODS'.not Jesus Christ. This is a good article, it tries to at least see our side, the side of the person who wants nothing more than to die, to go away from the pain I am experiencing. That is what is so wrong, there is no way that anyone can understand how we feel unless you live a moment, day, month, year, in our shoes. I know it seems selfish, and for people like me who have stayed alive for a long time because of others there just comes a day when it no longer matters, all you can see is relief. The last thing to say to someone is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, think of that, when you are talking to someone that sees no hope, there is only darkness, how can they possibly see a solution to anything.
You are right I problem solve, but this one has no solution, or at least none that I can find after looking for such a long time. They also call suicide impulsive, is that why I have had my note typed for 6 month, my financials listed for even longer, the rope ready, is that impulsive, I think not.
That is trying, trying hard to stay alive but just not realizing the reason to. So as I write this I still do not have a day set but it will come, mark my words there will be a day I say no more, and I will put myself out of my misery just like you do with an injured animal. I lost my older sister on 5/23 to suicide. I am googling the 'topic' trying desperately to understand.
I want you to know that people who care are devastated by this decision. My sister told people of her plans, but they were the wrong people. You are telling us (readers,) but we cannot help you other than with our words here.
You are important and you don't even know it. Please tell someone of your plans and thoughts. Please don't leave us. I love you and I don't even know you.
But I know that you are a thoughtful and reasonable person who is well spoken and clear thinking. Maybe that's all wrong and your thoughts are a jumble. I don't know. Life is hard. My younger sister has Multiple Sclerosis and is in a wheelchair all the time. I have had breast cancer twice and have been a survivor for 14 years.
My older sister suffered alcoholism and had a hard life. Her life was harder than I ever knew, but I want to know now. I want to know everything I didn't think to ask then. I'm asking you now, what are you suffering with. My mother is 77 and has had three daughters with serious illnesses. She is now a suicide survivor too.
It's pure hell. You will be deeply mourned and those who mourn you will wish they had known more about what you need. They will want to have done something more to show you how important you are and to help you cope. We all need that help. I need it now. I am struggling to cope with the loss of my amazing sister, Kathy.
I wish you could have known her. You'd be begging her not to give up because she has so much to be hopeful for. You'd be compassionate and empathetic because you understand what she's feeling.
You'd urge her to tell the family who love her. Please think of yourself and also of those who will be beside themselves with grief for you.
I hope you reply to me and I hope you chose not to give up. My sister gave up and took all opportunity for us to be there for her away. I know she would be so grateful if it had just been an attempt and she had survived. I miss her and will miss her every moment for the rest of my life. Please tell someone. So much love to you. I'm sorry for your loss.
You are most thoughtful to reach out to a stranger in need.We often hear the phrase 'barely keeping my head above water.' For some, there is lifelong (or at least prolonged) internal torment/depression/suffering that weighs them down or pulls them under - and the effort of fighting to stay above water is exhausting.so much so that they give up, despite being surrounded by loving, functional family and friends.My heart goes out to you and yours. May your sister be at peace. It sounds great, but the problem is the implication on the value of human life.Places that legalize euthenasia, like Belgium, have 4 people die every day to it. A majority of people choosing it are college age; extremely rarely do the infirm elderly take the option.
It also spills over into broadening the application, cheapening human life.For example, since the scientific community want to equate mental health to medical health, long-term depression also becomes a 'disease' that should be allowed euthenasia. In addition, the moral grounds for other aspects of human life are encroached on, such as parents with autistic children being given the right to end their children. If you have to make exceptions, that automatically and logically means it's not a universal. People will subconsciously see that and manipulate that.Yes, in the end, society IS hurt.Without drawing a hard line in the sand, and stopping at the definitive absolute of no euthenasia for any reason of pain, you end up with an endless battle of questioning the ideal of human value.That's something religious morals gets correct from the get-go. A deeply logical concept easy to follow in a good religion. I hardly find any scientific articles on this subject.
The real reason humans are suicidal is to help society and the gene pool. It may seem heartless but that is the brutality of nature. Two separate villages of people. In one of them the people never commit suicide. This village has a lot of inferior people because they have not desire to kill themselves through depression. The second village has a high rate of bullying and suicide but has a tip top population.
The two villages have a war. Which one do you think will win?? So the gene pool and the negative feedback goes. The people who have a high tendency to commit suicide will pass on their genes to the next generation.